“Ummm I dreamed about a walking fire hydrant that pissed on birds and ate puppies…The f*ck?” -Tyrel_D

Killer FIRE hydrants eh?

Yup dreams… they either reflect from our imagination or reality,and that dream (quoted from one of my followers on Twitter) has got to be from imagination. It it was reflecting off of reality, then lets hop into Walt Disney’s World when he was on drugs. Take  Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs for example does this represent The Seven Stages of Cocaine? Nah who knows if Walt Disney was on drugs,and NO I’m not trying to say people who have weird dreams or daydreams do drugs.

I’ve had weird dreams before,I’m pretty sure everyone has had one where they got hurt and it felt so real,I got stabbed straight through the heart by some crack head ass b*tch that sh*t was very painful. I’m not too sure if people cry in their sleep but I do,I’ll wake up and have a wet face as if some b*tch put her p*ssy on my face while I was sleeping.I even have some where I’m having sex…jeesus…The other night I had an extremely trippy dream,as if I was high in my sleep or something. I was on some invisible roller coaster or some sh*t like that and it actually felt like my body was levitating up and down.Heres the best part I got thrown into a f*cking Super Mario World stage,I gotta admit that sh*t was fun as hell. I was doing that sh*t that Mario was doing! it was amazing kicking turtles and sh*t,going down green tubes,hitting my head on some damn bricks and sh*t just to collect coins and mushrooms. The part that I hated was when I woke up… man! can you say major headache!

So as I mentioned the awesome guy Tyrel_D <- (click for his Twitter) this guy was talking about his crazy dream. His sh*t had me laughing for an hour I still laugh and it when I read the story. I’ll post it in his own words right…now

• Ok…here we go…Im just chillin in my house, watching TV. Hey Arnold was on and Gerald said something, and I hear my oven rumbling…
• So I walk over to my oven, open it up, and find a pig and turkey literally fighting each other to the death…again(both were being cooked)
• So I standing there thinking “WTF?” and then out of nowhere, a truck crashes through my house and puttys from Power Rangers abduct me
• As I am being kidnapped, I realize the truck was flying…yes…FLYING! The f*cking truck had wings. And they were bumping LL Cool J…
• At this point, I kid you not, I got angry and turned Super Saiyan, and f*cked these dudes up…Only for my twin to come out of nowhere…
• And he basically starts powering up in a DBZ-esque style. Then the n*gga pulls out a sword, points it at me, and I turn into an Oreo…
• At this point im contemplating eating myself or not…
• And some dude walks up to me with another sword, says a bunch of BS, and restores me. I stand up only to get crushed by a mailbox…The End.

So, whats the weirdest dream you ever had? Post a comment or tweet it to me. :] I’d love to get a laugh at it!

So what’s your favorite dinosaur? Mines is a Muthaf*ckin T-rex yes. :] they make me happy.(I wasn’t lying when I said I was weird) but yes the amazing T-rex. Oh how I love your little arms and your huge head with them thick thighs. I always wondered…if a T-rex could masturbate…how could they do it? I mean is that why they are always shouting and being angry? I know no damn female dinosaur wanna hop on that,and the muthaf*cka can’t even hit it from the back because he don’t got nothin to hold on to he’ll just f*ckin fall. I know T-rex’s be getting sexually frustrated…I would be too if I had some little ass arms and couldn’t reach down to my crotch area,and what makes it worse is that I can’t even fuck anything…smh they must have been some depressing ass creatures…”RAHAHHHARR!! SOMEONE FUCK MEHH!!! RAAWRWRR!!! I CAN’T REACH MY DIIICCK!!! WTFFF!!!” Gettin mad and sh*t.

Exactly.

I overslept this morning you know for an Asian person I’m not very good with time like, I need a damn time management book or some shit. I wish I was those traditional Asian people who are really good with being on time and not procrastinating or any of that shit. I would get alot more done around here instead of sitting on my ass typing on this muhfukin computer right now like most American people do.

Another thing I realized over the years that my father wished he never came to America he thinks this place is so f*cked up and spoiled he really talk shit about it every time I see him.He talks about how the teenagers are dumb as a f*ckin buffalo and how the parents don’t give a sh*t about what their kids do and thats how all these homeless and crackheads formed. Then he goes on about how college students spend their parents money to get into college and major in stupid shit and later on wanna switch. He thinks that everyone should try to become a doctor or go somewhere in the medical field. (even though that is a good career choice) not everyone wants to do what that you know? I’m like thinking to myself “Seriously?? then why the hell did you come to America? You could have stayed in Vietnam.” of course I would not have been born and he would have died but when you complain about shit everyday and you can’t do nothing about it theres really no point. I’ve learned from him already but on the other hand…he DOES have a good point. America is really stupid and I don’t f*ckin care what anyone says ever if they say “Oh then why don’t you get out here and go to your country.” or some stupid f*ckery like that see? that wasn’t even the damn point you IGNORANT fool we are definitely not the smartest country nor do we have enough discipline. Thats my opinion on that I may be right or wrong to you but I don’t f*ckin care. Thats my post for today people :]

RANDOM

This creates lulz for me